Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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