okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
