so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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