I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
