i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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