Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
