My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You are the jesus of drinking
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
