he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
he's single and there are thong briefs.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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