Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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