THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
