the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
