New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
