careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
