planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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