I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
