I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
