he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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