Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
