I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
