Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
