Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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