Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
