Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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