you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
