Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
MIDGETS
????
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
