Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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