So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
