Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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