Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
