Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
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