porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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