why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
