Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
