normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
