3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
