you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
