tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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