ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
