Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
