Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
