My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
