ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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