He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Let's paint friendship bongs
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
