haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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