hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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