So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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