Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
They took my balls.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
