Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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