Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
