Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
