So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
