All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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