3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
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