I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
