6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
