Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
