Christians are straight up FREAKS
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
