I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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